I sent a PM to Tom Fulp yesterday, hoping for at least some explanation as to why my illustrations were taken down. I have to wonder, is this just a thing that's going to keep happening? Are new users going to keep joining the site to try to dictate to me what I can and can't say and who I can and can't make fun of? Are the mods going to provide no clarification at all outside of the usual, "I don't owe you an explanation," routine. All of this on a site that has no problem with certain users making fun of others.

It's a-okay to join in on making fun of Chris Chan for the millionth time or whoever else is currently being mocked by the mindless mainstream Internet, but it's not okay for me to make fun of certain others who aren't? It's fine when Zach Hadel fans repeat the same lame excuse of a joke over and over and over again, and when he himself has animated a guy who didn't want to be recorded yelling at someone to get out of his car, but it's not okay when I point out how repetitive they are, and when I make fun of the people that I do? It naturally makes one wonder why, and it's killing any motivation I have to post creative projects. 

It's sure as hell fueling my desire to just flat-out write an exposé on every single one of the schmucks here who have ever tried to take me down, though. Perhaps I could at least call out the user responsible for it this time, but I'm trying with every fiber of my being not to give this worthless user the attention he wants, despite him combing through my account looking for unrelated reasons to get back at me, despite him 0-bombing my gallery, despite him sending his backup crew and mods to do the same, all because I made one mocking comment towards his attention-seeking campaign.

Of course, he only blocked me as soon as I pointed out that I knew what he was doing, that I knew the type of individual I was dealing with the moment he responded the way he did to my first comment. I wanted to tell him, "While others may allow themselves to be silenced, I'm not going down without pointing out how much of a coward you really are and laughing at you for it."

It does also really upset me that I didn't archive that entire comment section. I did for the first few comments, but then stopped, assuming I had better things to spend time on, but I can't really focus on those better things now. What's the point? All a majority of the Internet seems to care about is drama nowadays, and while I do cover my fair share of drama, all it really takes is one out-of-context snippet to send the vultures your way.

And of course, this user who joined the site yesterday will receive no repercussions while I, someone who's been here for years, receive the brunt of the punishment.

I know it's just posts on the Internet. I know that it was only a few, but it's the principle of it, ya know? Am I going to have to worry that projects I put effort into are going to get taken down just because an individual or group didn't like it or didn't like some unrelated thing that I said? I'm not really much more of an asshole than anyone else on this site, so why do I always feel like the world is out to get me? Every website I've been to, it's always the same, but I really thought Newgrounds would be different.

I don't usually write melodramatic posts like this or make posts explaining my goals for the future. My goal as of right now is to find people on the Internet who I know will understand the points that I try to make, who I know "get" me and what I'm trying to say in my work, and actually appreciate having me around and value what I do. I've spent too long acting like I don't care about this sort of thing, but if I'm to keep working on creative projects for the Internet, I have to be honest in saying that it at least matters somewhat.